{"title":"Deadpan Dept.™","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDeadpan Dept.™ — sarcasm, questionable decisions, and everyday observations delivered with a perfectly straight face. Comfortable tees for people who don't need to explain the joke.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchor\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStreet tested. Sarcasm approved.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"unapologetic-weirdo-t-shirt-unisex-softstyle-tee-for-quirky-souls","title":"Unapologetic Weirdo T-Shirt | Unisex Softstyle Tee","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"232\" data-end=\"287\"\u003eSome people try to fit in.\u003cbr data-start=\"258\" data-end=\"261\"\u003eThis shirt isn’t for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"547\"\u003eThe \u003cem data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"314\"\u003eUnapologetic Weirdo\u003c\/em\u003e tee is for the folks who stopped explaining themselves a long time ago. Different opinions. Odd sense of humor. Zero interest in being “normal.” If you’ve ever been called weird and thought, \u003cem data-start=\"506\" data-end=\"518\"\u003eyeah… and?\u003c\/em\u003e — you’re in the right place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"549\" data-end=\"604\"\u003eSimple. Comfortable. Says exactly what it needs to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"606\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eWear it proudly. No apologies required.\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Without side seams for a smoother look and reduced fabric waste.\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar retains shape and adds elasticity.\u003cbr\u003e- Shoulder tape prevents stretching and stabilizes the garment.\u003cbr\u003e- Made from ethically sourced, high-quality ring-spun cotton.\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight fabric perfect for year-round wear, including casual and formal occasions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":46591366004953,"sku":"30114661959586870236","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":46591366267097,"sku":"13261284289050252733","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":46591366529241,"sku":"52157529050641905824","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":46591366791385,"sku":"20666794762371940602","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":46591367020761,"sku":"45289450573171720562","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":46591367250137,"sku":"29052284356617527438","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0622\/4117\/7817\/files\/2639262362420492298_2048_custom.jpg?v=1789505873"},{"product_id":"coffee-chaos-repeat","title":"COFFEE. 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Order later.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable and smooth fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar for shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton\u003cbr\u003e- Available in different fabric blends\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline for versatility\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":48550370443481,"sku":"24975152439094492692","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":48550370476249,"sku":"26402825544075297050","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":48550370509017,"sku":"30778625459468694076","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":48550370541785,"sku":"89141282232795683638","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48550370574553,"sku":"14774209215852463222","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":48550370607321,"sku":"12039994200017559208","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0622\/4117\/7817\/files\/20260803214116-1f18f840-e2ba-65ba-a6ee-d2cf6a01fe81.png?v=1789505136"},{"product_id":"i-used-to-be-indecisive-now-i-m-not-so-sure","title":"I Used to Be Indecisive. 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I like that shirt!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow it's available as part of the Deadpan Dept.™ Collection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for adventurers, road-trippers, and anyone whose best memories started with a terrible idea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable and smooth fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar for shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton\u003cbr\u003e- Available in different fabric blends\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline for versatility\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49037441466585,"sku":"20750658729418505977","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49037441499353,"sku":"50273857120314678269","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49037441532121,"sku":"18210553812482234326","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49037441564889,"sku":"18778452503239790335","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49037441597657,"sku":"52681470781290448935","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49037441630425,"sku":"21538083046659675889","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0622\/4117\/7817\/files\/20260803221535-1f18f88d-9c20-6ab2-a5a1-aebdea95341f_bca32eb4-a2d1-4e65-a6ba-13070209b4ea.png?v=1789505553"},{"product_id":"i-tried-to-be-normal-once-deadpan-dept™-t-shirt","title":"I Tried to Be Normal Once. – Deadpan Dept™ T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eSome people fit in. 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Soft, comfortable, and made for anyone who's learned that \"normal\" just isn't as fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the store, the office, or anywhere a little deadpan humor is appreciated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause three minutes was more than enough.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable and smooth fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar for shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton\u003cbr\u003e- Available in different fabric blends\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline for versatility\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49040024895705,"sku":"25757436636555684117","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49040024928473,"sku":"27121828431950976762","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49040024961241,"sku":"67207677782644367615","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49040024994009,"sku":"22006148547028952825","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49040025026777,"sku":"27317984352975537858","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49040025059545,"sku":"26839366625159387134","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0622\/4117\/7817\/files\/6144555257439483747_2048_custom.jpg?v=1789505558"},{"product_id":"who-farted-deadpan-dept™-dress-code-violation","title":"WHO FARTED? — Deadpan Dept™ Dress Code Violation.","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"611\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"611\"\u003eWHO FARTED?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"616\" data-end=\"707\"\u003eSometimes life's biggest questions deserve answers. Unfortunately, this shirt provides one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"835\"\u003eBig radioactive-lime lettering asks the question on the front. Turn around and confess with \u003cstrong data-start=\"804\" data-end=\"818\"\u003eIT WAS ME!\u003c\/strong\u003e across the back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"956\"\u003eLoud enough to get noticed. Dumb enough to start conversations. And yes—this design has actually been street tested.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003eWear responsibly. Or don't. 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If you know, you know. If you don’t, it still looks intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"1018\"\u003eMinimal white typewriter text on black, arranged like a note, an order slip, or a koan. Calm. Confident. Slightly unsettling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003eLess talk. 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